Editorial : Tits, WITHIN TEMPTATION, and a Lot of Videos

"Red Riding Hood" wants their set back. Seriously—why so spiky?

Firsts are fun.

I never had any measure of remorse for a review I penned on this site, but for once, had second thoughts after posting my limerick review of The Unforgiving, the fifth album by Within Temptation. I spoke of motherhood derogatorily, and that is beyond unfair. Not a single one of us would be here to subjectively experience life without moms, and I wish no ill will on Sharon and Robert, their choices as musicians and parents, nor the fans of the band.

But speaking of the fans, I took an interest to a thread on the official Within Temptation forum. If anything, there is some funny stuff to be found. Here’s a few examples:

  • One person doesn’t understand limericks, and criticizes my review of “ten bloody words”. But the commenter does ask if they’re “missing something”, so at least they know the very real chance that they’re very, very wrong. Verily… anyway, there’s 30 words.
  • A couple more follow to give their “hear hear” and seem appalled at the length of the review …though I’m still surprised that no one mentions that it’s a fucking limerick, where there is only so much to say.
  • The irony of someone from Portland, Oregon failing to notice my recent review of Agalloch live just struck me as odd. No hometown love?
  • However, my favorite instance of glaring misinformation has to be the dude from Manchester, UK that thinks I only like “Nirvana, Aerosmith, G’n’R, Motley Crue, Kid Rock, etc.” when I completely creamed my jeans over the new TesseracT album days earlier.

Alright, now there are clearly people in this thread who love Within Temptation, and if the band got them through a difficult time or helped them achieve some level of higher understanding and/or transcendent existence, good for you. Our world is filled with billions of expressive souls, and I’m proud to be one of them. I’m proud to choose to write limericks about certain albums—and The Unforgiving was my latest choice. Good for me.

On the doubleplusgood side, I answered the urge to post a shit-ton of sweet videos. I hadn’t been planning on a who’s-who of the finest female Metal artists, yet here we are. Enjoy, because this is fun.

True, I tend to lean toward the unconventional when recommending heavy bands with chick singers—probably because their very existence is so rare. Yeah, they seem more common these days, but even still, we must be talking single-digit percentages. I give you To-Mera. The brilliant Julie Kiss is less centerpiece than center spoke—everyone is heading in the same direction and is connected in some way, but have their own unique place. They’re also—ahem—another band from the UK that innovates with djent, and so completely worth your time.

Stolen Babies are dangerous, like Rock used to be, and genuinely creative to boot. Not to mention that drummer Gil Sharone had stints in a tiny underground band that you may have heard of: Dillinger Escape Plan (sidetrack: To-Mera guitarist Thomas MacLean met Julie Kiss at a DEP concert). However Sharone returned to his former band, providing the rhythmic backbone to their bizarre cabaret with his brother Rani. But ohhh, Dominique Persi—she has great pipes, an intriguing presence, and can really work a squeezebox.

As long as we’re talking about avant-garde metal bands with female vocalists signed to The End Records… let’s talk uneXpecT and lead vocalist Leïlindel. Notice in the live video how she is central in the shot, but the band is fueled by counterbalance. She also doesn’t try to flaunt her cleavage, but man, that hair is hypnotic, right? The evolving, Montréal-based septet-turned-sextet is due to release Fables of the Sleepless Empire in 2011, but you can access “Orange Vigilantes” right here, right now.

Let’s go from French Canadians to straight-up French, and the most beautiful, creepy, powerful, and quirky woman here: Asphodel. She is a member of Pin-Up Went Down, whose album 342 made my Best of 2010 list. It helps if you dug Carnival in Coal, by the way. But let’s get more traditional, shall we?

I mentioned earlier about posting a video-based article like the one you’re reading. Well this video was the impetus behind that, but was gonna be based on awesome songs that have less-than-cool videos. For example: I really, really don’t get why there is a Crystal Viper guitar pick in the business man’s blood when he is struck by the homeless man, and the stark b/w, singing-at-the-camera thing is pretty boring. Whatever, focus on the tune and the badassery of Marta “Leather Wych” Gabriel (and if you have time, read my review of their latest album, Legends). It’s good to hear something coming from Poland besides Behemoth and Vader …not that I don’t enjoy both! We need to venture a little further north for our last feature, and it almost feels unfair, but here goes…

Oh my word, Arch Enemy.

Leaders of their craft, so on-point that you take it for granted, and of course Michael fucking Amott. This is one of many projects he’s founded over the years, but despite forming with vocalist Johan Liiva, Amott felt Arch Enemy needed greater dynamics, and thus eventually hired Angela Gossow. Her voice actually reminds me more of Chuck Schuldiner than anyone else, and while I appreciate Liiva’s contributions to the Metal world, Gossow is a much better match for this band.  So listen to her… or at least Angela Gossowski. Khaos Legions is on the way come May Day, and keep an eye on Reign in Blonde.

To sum up, we all have choices. If you want Within Temptation, far be it from me to judge. I’ve found music that suits me much better. But if you plan on criticizing a critic, do your homework first, plz&thx.

~MetalMattLongo

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4 thoughts on “Editorial : Tits, WITHIN TEMPTATION, and a Lot of Videos

  1. My eyes must have been tired when I finished this, because I just realized I misnamed Sharon as Marta … guess I had Crystal Viper on my mind ;)

    Corrected!

    And for those curious, The Unforgiving got six full spins, once with lyrics, and a few single song plays here and there. These stats were part of a paragraph that was edited out.

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